The mad Match maker

Day in the life of a top London Match-Maker

Coffee and Company has been established for 15 years. I - as the founder and match-maker - enjoy an extremely high success rate when it comes to uniting new couples together. If I am honest I put that down to hiding or glossing over certain things in order for clients to agree to meet each other if I feel there is a strong chance of a relationship developing.

Obviously this can backfire if i'm completely wrong - which I have been! However I've discovered over the years that many long term single people come to use my service because they have struggled to get over the hurdle of finding a partner who they feel is their 'type' - so they pass up opportunity after opportunity to hold out and find the person they hold in their minds eye, sometimes that never happens. As they get older and remain single it gets more and more difficult for obvious reasons. I think over the years singles have this perception that if they are 'paying someone' then that magical person will appear - wrong!

After years of doing this job I discovered that if I got my 'gut instinct' feeling and I could just get people to meet and spend time in each other's company - despite the fact that wish lists didnt match - then more often than not my gut feeling stood me in good stead and clients found an empathy. Sometimes it took a few dates to realise, but many a happy union has been embarked upon between two people who on paper were not each others 'type'.

These days it is easier to persuade clients to meet people who do not necessarily appeal on paper because the majority of my clients come recommended from other clients who have met through using Coffee and Company. Or friends of friends who have met. However I do often have to resort to leaving vital bits out of their profiles - No mention of kids even though they have three! No mention of height if a guy stipulates he only likes tall women and she is only 5'2 and no mention that she may be more of a curvy size 14 than a trim size 8!

To get to my point a large percentage of the couples I got/get together did not match the preferences of said clients when I first took them on. However, because I am blessed with a talent for match making, my gambles generally paid off - and the proof of the pudding is that I'm still here nearly 16 years on with a thriving business that I dont even advertise anymore because i'm already inundated with potential new clients!

I am transparently clear when I first meet my clients about how it's going to be likely that the person they meet through me is unlikely to come in the package they expected, though in fairness I don't reveal my tactics otherwise I doubt they would join up! I do say however to everyone many many times that I want them to remain open minded. Some are like disciples and place themselves entirely in their hands - ultimately the most successful group - these clients usually meet their Mr/Ms Rights after about 5 introductions - others are a little more selective, and others are damn right picky! Though the latter group if I recognise this trait before they sign up I usually steer them away from joining!

I know that it is incredibly hard for someone after a lifetime of trusting their own instincts, to suddenly place themselves in this woman's hands - (me) - who pops up and tells them who they are going to be attracted to.  However please be assured I have my clients and people I represent best interests at heart even if they don't see that at that point. I am incredibly passionate about my service and the help I can offer and the happiness I can generate when I unite a new couple together.

I ask my clients for feedback after having met their dates - 'Forgetting about all the downsides, how did you feel about them as a person? Did you get on? Did you enjoy their company?'  - I discover to my delight that despite the 'not on my wish list' obvious things, my 'gut instincts'  generally rarely fail me and before I know it I have another very happy relationship on my hands.

My best advice to singles out there walking through the minefield of dating -  if there is anything to build on - see them  again - even if at this point you don't see them as the ultimate contender. The reason for this is to build a band of women/men around you. You don't have to get intimate with them or lead them on or pretend anything. It's just about two people enjoying each other's company and meeting again. You are more likely to fall in love when you have your 'band of women/men' around you. It might be that you feel none of your band of women/men are contenders, however experience shows me that the benefits of adhering to this method of dating are as follows:

A) Having lots of women/men around you builds your self assurance and improves your attitude towards dating so much that those with their merry band exude this magical warm energy which is very appealing and attractive to other women/men. 

B) So being in this space you will start to attract random new romance opportunities around you...giving you more choice in the singles ball pond.

C) It is highly likely that one of your 'merry band of men/women' suddenly grows from a person you didn't see any potential in to the 'one'. Hard to comprehend at this stage but this happens time and time again. Clients meet, no spark, but they see each other again as friends - then hey presto an attraction grows from nowhere. In fact it happens more times this way than in the more conventional way of boy meets girls, instant attraction type of thing!

So my dear potential clients, huge apologies if you feel I'm misleading you or giving you false information when I suggest someone for you to date. I just wanted to share with you the method in my madness. I hope you forgive me & understand my reasons. Singles may not always understand my methods, but ultimately those who trust and work with me and go along with my methods are the ones that ultimately end up in a great relationship sooner rather than later.

Wriiten by Top match maker and published author of 'CalcuDating - Your single days are numbered'

Lorraine Adams

Gratuities most gratefully accepted!